Laptabdib is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, vain pigeon.

Laptabdib created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laptabdib, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Laptabdib, he will have a low opinion of you.

Laptabdib's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Laptabdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Laptabdib.