Lammetstan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, moody otter.

Lammetstan created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lammetstan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lammetstan, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Lammetstan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Lammetstan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lammetstan.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lammetstan.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

5. Never talk about asteroids.