Wathivquag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid gerbil.

Wathivquag created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wathivquag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wathivquag, she will make you grow a tail.

Wathivquag's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Wathivquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Run away if eight sharks approach from the west.