Tonlinkin Sabomttargdim is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, competent goat.

Tonlinkin Sabomttargdim created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tonlinkin Sabomttargdim, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tonlinkin Sabomttargdim, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tonlinkin Sabomttargdim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tonlinkin Sabomttargdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

5. Do not sit in public.