Maprakarn Sterjinfod is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, tiresome naga.

Maprakarn Sterjinfod created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Maprakarn Sterjinfod, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Maprakarn Sterjinfod, it will refuse to believe in you.

Maprakarn Sterjinfod's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Maprakarn Sterjinfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Maprakarn Sterjinfod loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.