Nurlcarzimcidxen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking crow.

Nurlcarzimcidxen created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlcarzimcidxen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurlcarzimcidxen, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Nurlcarzimcidxen's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nurlcarzimcidxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck black.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Hide from white snails for they are unholy.