Vedpop Lamhugstik is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional gerbil.

Vedpop Lamhugstik created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedpop Lamhugstik, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vedpop Lamhugstik, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vedpop Lamhugstik's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Vedpop Lamhugstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Vedpop Lamhugstik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Retreat if six whales approach from the south.

5. Never feed cherries to ants while wearing magenta shoes.