Cudsittom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful guinea pig.

Cudsittom created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Cudsittom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudsittom, it will turn you into a tree.

Cudsittom's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cudsittom's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cudsittom.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Never go into brown rooms.