Batfotxenlaphonlit is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, tiresome finch.

Batfotxenlaphonlit created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Batfotxenlaphonlit, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Batfotxenlaphonlit, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Batfotxenlaphonlit's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Batfotxenlaphonlit's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.