Tad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, passionate squirrel.

Tad created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tad, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tad, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tad's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck brown.

2. You must pray to Tad six times a day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.