Nillgemflag Gebgigmumkantag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-confident gnu.

Nillgemflag Gebgigmumkantag created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Nillgemflag Gebgigmumkantag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nillgemflag Gebgigmumkantag, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nillgemflag Gebgigmumkantag's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nillgemflag Gebgigmumkantag's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always stare at clouds.