Pintabjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, duplicitous scorpion.

Pintabjarn created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pintabjarn, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pintabjarn, it will turn you into a plant.

Pintabjarn's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pintabjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not hurt birds.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Respect your elders.