Quafwegjab is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive parrot.

Quafwegjab created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafwegjab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quafwegjab, it will destroy your home solar system.

Quafwegjab's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Quafwegjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help sick monkeys.