Wodbeghon Gatciprow is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental jackal.

Wodbeghon Gatciprow created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodbeghon Gatciprow, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wodbeghon Gatciprow, he will curse you with boils.

Wodbeghon Gatciprow's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wodbeghon Gatciprow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wodbeghon Gatciprow.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.