Arncemstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humane frog.

Arncemstaf created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arncemstaf, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Arncemstaf, he will not invite you to parties.

Arncemstaf's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Arncemstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.