Gabbanzag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, humorless armadillo.

Gabbanzag created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gabbanzag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gabbanzag, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gabbanzag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gabbanzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Hide from indigo monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Run away if seven mice approach from the north.