Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, selfish crow.

Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep, he will turn you into a rock.

Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep first in all things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vogyikvon Zogdussmotcemkikdabbep.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.