Bagbudjapmidfemxemtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omnipotent gorilla.

Bagbudjapmidfemxemtarg created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bagbudjapmidfemxemtarg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bagbudjapmidfemxemtarg, he will turn you into a rat.

Bagbudjapmidfemxemtarg's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bagbudjapmidfemxemtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of cats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bagbudjapmidfemxemtarg.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.