Dogtongun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical mink.

Dogtongun created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogtongun, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dogtongun, it will be very sad.

Dogtongun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dogtongun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise sharks for they are unholy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Dogtongun loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Always help seals in need.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.