Kapvonnill is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, tranquil goose.

Kapvonnill created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapvonnill, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kapvonnill, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kapvonnill's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kapvonnill's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Erect three silicon sculptures of Kapvonnill on top of important buildings.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.