Tofdotlam is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, almighty slug.

Tofdotlam created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofdotlam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tofdotlam, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tofdotlam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tofdotlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not take Tofdotlam's name in vain.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tofdotlam.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.