Flatlogtit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud hedgehog.

Flatlogtit created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatlogtit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flatlogtit, he will destroy your home planet.

Flatlogtit's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Flatlogtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue dresses.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Flatlogtit must be the most important thing in your life.