Wongabbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, smart mink.

Wongabbiss created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wongabbiss, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wongabbiss, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wongabbiss' most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Wongabbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.