Nigvonkomtvol is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, weak wombat.

Nigvonkomtvol created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigvonkomtvol, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nigvonkomtvol, he will turn you into a goat.

Nigvonkomtvol's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nigvonkomtvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not kill horses.

5. Do not take Nigvonkomtvol's name in vain.