Hapbomyik Donlamcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, calm crow.

Hapbomyik Donlamcuss created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapbomyik Donlamcuss, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hapbomyik Donlamcuss, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hapbomyik Donlamcuss' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Hapbomyik Donlamcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. You must love Hapbomyik Donlamcuss.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always pray immersed in water.