Busnurjap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty grasshopper.

Busnurjap created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Busnurjap, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Busnurjap, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Busnurjap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Busnurjap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue seals, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Do not bounce in public.