Yartgenmut is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, duplicitous rhinoceros.

Yartgenmut created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartgenmut, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yartgenmut, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yartgenmut's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Yartgenmut's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Yartgenmut on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to music.