Lapgarhan is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful narwhal.

Lapgarhan created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgarhan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lapgarhan, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Lapgarhan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Lapgarhan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Retreat if six grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.