Bemhottarg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, effective wyvern.

Bemhottarg created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemhottarg, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bemhottarg, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bemhottarg's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bemhottarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not hurt ducks.

4. Never paint your legs blue.

5. Always stare at clouds.