Ditlargvon is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable narwhal.

Ditlargvon created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditlargvon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ditlargvon, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Ditlargvon's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ditlargvon's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always obey Ditlargvon's priests.

3. Run away from black snails, for they are unholy.

4. Always look after injured great tits.

5. Ditlargvon loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.
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