Japbisslip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, tranquil troll.

Japbisslip created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbisslip, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Japbisslip, it will make you grow a tail.

Japbisslip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Japbisslip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Japbisslip on top of all buildings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not bounce in public.