Yarpcensankik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody gorilla.

Yarpcensankik created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcensankik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yarpcensankik, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yarpcensankik's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Yarpcensankik's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are not to be trusted.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.