Arfbud is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, competent seal.

Arfbud created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Arfbud, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arfbud, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Arfbud's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Arfbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. Arfbud loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Arfbud on top of all buildings.

4. Always obey Arfbud's priests.

5. Do not shave your arms.