Dosshogcim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, vain monkey.

Dosshogcim created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosshogcim, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dosshogcim, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dosshogcim's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Dosshogcim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silver sculptures of Dosshogcim on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed spinach to seals while wearing fawn kilts.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dosshogcim.

4. Dosshogcim must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never mention mice.