Bonkfetsasbusgupkem is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, omniscient raccoon.

Bonkfetsasbusgupkem created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfetsasbusgupkem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonkfetsasbusgupkem, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bonkfetsasbusgupkem's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bonkfetsasbusgupkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never mention birds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not sit in public.