Quagtarpbem is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, able dryad.

Quagtarpbem created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagtarpbem, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quagtarpbem, she will turn you into a frog.

Quagtarpbem's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quagtarpbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near geese.

2. Never feed melons to ducks while wearing blue boots.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect six titanium sculptures of Quagtarpbem on top of important buildings.