Bedteenjop is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonest ferret.

Bedteenjop created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bedteenjop, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedteenjop, she will laugh at you.

Bedteenjop's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bedteenjop's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Hide from white foxes for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.