Carkimbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous elephant.

Carkimbarn created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Carkimbarn, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Carkimbarn, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Carkimbarn's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Carkimbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never sing near monkeys.

4. Never wear violet tights.

5. Do not hurt tapirs.