Bifwonlimcinfedfassit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying cat.

Bifwonlimcinfedfassit created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifwonlimcinfedfassit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bifwonlimcinfedfassit, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bifwonlimcinfedfassit's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bifwonlimcinfedfassit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention horses.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.