Monbegstip Wannursawnarsitbissbass Febbagzed is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid horse.

Monbegstip Wannursawnarsitbissbass Febbagzed created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Monbegstip Wannursawnarsitbissbass Febbagzed, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Monbegstip Wannursawnarsitbissbass Febbagzed, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Monbegstip Wannursawnarsitbissbass Febbagzed's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Monbegstip Wannursawnarsitbissbass Febbagzed's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never bounce in the presence of doves.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never paint your head orange.