Canquafkan Farntanbem is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, egotistical coyote.

Canquafkan Farntanbem created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Canquafkan Farntanbem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Canquafkan Farntanbem, it will have a low opinion of you.

Canquafkan Farntanbem's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Canquafkan Farntanbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never wear kilts.