Govfenzak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-confident cow.

Govfenzak created life two years ago.

If you believe in Govfenzak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Govfenzak, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Govfenzak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Govfenzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Govfenzak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Govfenzak.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.