Sidlabpangessmut is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, blissful turtle.

Sidlabpangessmut created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Sidlabpangessmut, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidlabpangessmut, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sidlabpangessmut's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Sidlabpangessmut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never skip near whales.

4. You must pray to Sidlabpangessmut eight times a day.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.