Stragjamnan is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, charitable tapir.

Stragjamnan created water seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragjamnan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stragjamnan, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Stragjamnan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Stragjamnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Do not take Stragjamnan's name in vain.

5. Do not shave your chest.