Cumgeptag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthinking gnu.

Cumgeptag created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cumgeptag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cumgeptag, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cumgeptag's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Cumgeptag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Cumgeptag loves snakes, so they must be honoured.