Cepmanspag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, duplicitous chinchilla.

Cepmanspag created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepmanspag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cepmanspag, he will curse you with boils.

Cepmanspag's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Cepmanspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cepmanspag.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if seven nematodes approach from the west.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.