Gilnanwik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy dugong.

Gilnanwik created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilnanwik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gilnanwik, she will have a low opinion of you.

Gilnanwik's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gilnanwik's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Gilnanwik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not stand on grass.