Jopbastgubcussfud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate centaur.

Jopbastgubcussfud created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbastgubcussfud, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jopbastgubcussfud, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jopbastgubcussfud's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jopbastgubcussfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Jopbastgubcussfud loves mice, so they must be respected.

3. Do not take Jopbastgubcussfud's name in vain.

4. Worship no other gods but Jopbastgubcussfud.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.