Podsaswitwitquim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, kind slug.

Podsaswitwitquim created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Podsaswitwitquim, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Podsaswitwitquim, she will turn you into a sheep.

Podsaswitwitquim's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Podsaswitwitquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Never feed pineapples to moths while wearing purple shirts.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Podsaswitwitquim loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. You must love Podsaswitwitquim.