Quartrillcem is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, proud horse.

Quartrillcem created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Quartrillcem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quartrillcem, it will turn you into a dog.

Quartrillcem's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Quartrillcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat bats with great respect.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

4. Put Quartrillcem first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.